Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a7UqnCl6I4
- What was the moment in your life when you felt the most afraid?
- Have you ever felt like your world was falling apart and no one knew?
- What is that dream that you never dared to tell anyone?
- If you could go back to a specific day in your life, which one would you go back to?
- What part of yourself did you never want me to see?
- What decisions do you regret but have never confessed?
- What was the love you felt for mom at the beginning?
- What was the first time you felt alone, even though you were surrounded by people?
- What advice would you have wanted to receive when you were my age?
- Have you ever been afraid of not being a good enough father?
- What hurt you the most growing up?
- What would you like me to remember about you when you are no longer here?
- What things about your own father do you think you could never forgive?
- What are you most proud of about yourself, even if you don’t say it out loud?
- What version of yourself do you hide behind the jokes and quick answers?
- What makes you cry in silence, even if you refuse to admit it?
- What is the most important truth that you kept to yourself so as not to hurt me?
- Who is the person who most marked your life for better or worse?
- What things make you feel vulnerable, even if you try to hide it?
- How would you like me to remember you?
- What wounds have you had since you were a child that you have not yet healed?
- What conversation have we never talked about, but should have had?
- What is the biggest lie you told yourself?
- What hopes did you have when you found out you were going to be my father? Have I fulfilled them?
- Did you ever feel like I didn’t understand you? What would you have wanted to tell me?
- What does the word “family” mean to you when you are alone?
- What advice would you have wanted to give me, but you felt that it was not the time? Is it now?
- What would you do if you could release all the weight you carry in silence?
As you hear these questions, you may feel the need to let your children know your own answers. I invite you to write them, close the envelope and leave it for that moment when they need to read it.
In the end, all of these questions come down to one: Who are you really behind the dad mask?
Despite the words never spoken and the stories never shared, fatherhood is an act of showing oneself partially, of being a protector and guide without completely losing human fragility. Being a father is walking between shadow and light, trying to mold others while one is still learning to live. Sometimes, the greatest feat is not being an invincible hero, but rather showing yourself imperfect, capable of mistakes and regrets.
When I look into your eyes and search for you in those silences, the only thing I want is to see you in all your truth: as the man you were, the child you dreamed of being, and the father that, with successes and failures, you continue to be today. Because perhaps the most one can ask of a father is not to be strong, but to be human and, somehow, among all this shared weight of love, doubt, and hope, let us find the forgiveness of knowing it. Simply, father and son.